To be a better man

“It’s about men coming out, don’t hide your issues, talk about it, connect, become part of a community.”

That’s the message from Hardy Bachert who is spearheading his third free event to support Nelson Tasman men to break the stigma and to “get back on the up”.

International Men’s Open Day at the Victory Community Centre combines speeches and workshops on topics concerning men as well as networking, men’s health support services, entertainment, food, and an all-round comfortable environment for healthy masculinity.

Hardy says this year’s event motto was Show Yourself, meaning own your stuff, don’t hide behind an image, especially not one of staunch bravado. He also says, young fathers attending alongside men from all walks of life would be well-received.

“There are lots of challenges for young dads locally so we’ve got topics that relate to young dads, and there will be also an opportunity to form a young dad support group,” he says.

“In previous years we’ve been concentrating on isolated guys, and that’s still part of the intention, we want these guys to come as well, but there’s a threshold to come out, so we want to make sure that they feel comfortable.”

Hardy says two former gang members will also feature this year to provide powerful stories about their journey to recovery and their current community service projects.

“With men’s groups, traditionally they have been just average, off-the-street guys with their usual challenges that they confront in life, but we realise that there’s plenty of guys out there that live on the edge,” he says.

“We want to be part of initiatives that allow guys that want to get out of gangs and want to normalise their lives to find a community.

“The two [former gang members] that are speaking, they’ve reformed themselves, and they’re both running initiatives to help former prisoners and people who have got violence issues and gang issues… I think they’re ready for some tough questions.”

Hardy says one of the former gang members who plans to attend has a kickboxing school and a demonstration of the latter will take centre stage.

International Men’s Open Day at the Victory Community Centre, 16 November between 12pm and 6pm.